JURY I

Marisol: description of Bernard is dead on and I like the way you presented it. As Ashley said, some grammatical mistakes and such, as well as the use of I. "I would characterize Bernard's motivations" But you directly addressed every part of the prompt

Kylie: I like how you demonstrated Bernard was an outcast not by comparing him to others such as Hemholtz, but you described the norms of the society within the world state to demonstrate it. You identify another way Bernard is distinct, by using examples like the part "piece of meat " back up how Bernard is different mentally. Over all, I think your Essay was really good since you presented your information and backed it up with some textual examples.

Miki: I agree with Ashley and Allyson, some sentences seemed awkward. "...but still often alienated by his appearance." I also had trouble responding to this prompt due to only knowing the 5 chapters. I feel like you did a good job of answering it though.

Erica: You addressed the prompt thoroughly like a lot of people said above, but I would have to say, "A good example of this " not to use this in an essay, because its like i'm going to show this.. just say it. Other than that, you did very good describing Bernard and capturing the novel.

Teanna:   I didn't see the connection between soma to pain killers. You need more evidence to back up how pain killers are like the soma, most of it seemed like opinions. Personally I would not use "we" in an essay either. My favorite paragraph of yours though would be the 4th paragraph about the castes and discrimination and relating it to the middle class, homeless etc was really good. I was able to see clearly what you were trying to get it.

Lesther: I really love your prompt, its different compared to the others I have read, different is good.
"Their society dictates how they act, talk, listen, think, etc." My favorite line in your essay for some reason it stands out to me.
Your essay has one or two grammatical mistakes, like one in the first paragraph.
You did a good job of addressing the prompt, and adding questions within the middle of your paragraphs was a nice touch too. Incorporating modern day technology to BNW about the purpose of cloning was good. I also agree with Mia for more examples historical ones would be great evidence.

When reading the essays I was able to see some different approaches to my topic and how some were able to elaborate more on the prompt I had trouble talking about. Although, some did have unique topics like Lesther's. In a few I found some uses of "I" or "we" in formal writing, would be something not to use, but in many I found different ways to directly approach the prompt and relate it to different things.